The Shoink Theory (a work in progress)

Shoink Factor: the mystical force that pulls two people together when a significant number of elements of circumstance are properly aligned.

Picture us as entities floating around in space (the Shoink-pool), doing our own thing, living our lives. Let’s say there are 20 elements of circumstance within us (this is an abstract theory, don’t get caught up in the details – 20 is arbitrary, and no, I can’t name them. Where was I? Oh, yeah - - -) so there are 20 elements of circumstance that exist within us and here we are floating around the Snoink-pool. The Shoink Theory says that the number of circumstantial elements between us that are aligned, determines if we are drawn to another person and how strongly we are drawn. But not in a voluntary way, remember, this theory is based on a mystical force – it’s not within our control – we can’t make our elements align. Although some of us have tried this manipulation many times to force the Shoink Factor into effect – but to no avail – this may produce a temporary, false-Shoink, but it is not a true Shoink. The Shoink force is like a magnetic attraction, only it’s not scientific, it’s mystical.

The strength of the Shoink force between two people is determined by how many of our circumstantial elements are aligned. For example, if only 8 out of a possible 20 are aligned, we would probably have to be in fairly close proximity to connect – we would likely find each other in life as long as our paths came somewhere near each other. But then there are the high-level Shoinks (these are the really fun ones) where you have maybe 18, 19 – maybe even all 20, elements lining up, and SHOINK! – there is no stopping it! You could be floating on opposite ends of the Shoink-pool and there is nothing that would stop you from connecting – this is the Shoink Major! This is meant to be! Don’t fight it!

Support for the Shoink Theory:
During some points in our lives we align very nicely with another person, all is good and harmonious, and then later in life we find that we “drift apart.” Aptly stated! Our circumstantial elements re-align and the Shoink force between us is lessened and we do, literally, drift away from each other in the Shoink-pool because we no longer have as strong of a Shoink force drawing us together.

Likewise, sometimes we Shoink with a person and we realize that if our paths had crossed 5, 10, 20 years ago, we would not have Shoinked with them at all – our elements would not have been properly aligned.

More Shoink Research Required
This is a good start to the Shoink Theory, but more research is required. I have some unanswered questions:

1. In order to achieve Shoink Major, are there particular elements that are required. That is to say, even if you have 18 out of 20, but one of the missing ones is “X” then you can’t have a Shoink Major?

2. Are the elements weighted or are they all of equal importance?

3. Do some elements have to be alike to “align” and others need to be opposite to “align?”

4. Is Shoinking self-supporting? Once in a Shoink-groove with someone, does the strength of the Shoink increase naturally?

5. What are the circumstancial elements? and how many are there?

6. Maybe it’s not as simple as a certain number of elements – maybe each element has a particular shape and size -- and it's more like a lock and key alignment?

Clearly more research is needed.

Happy Shoinking!

UNCLE!

That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! UNCLE! (If you are easily offended cover your ears for a minute (or in this case, cover your eyes)) . . . FUCK THE FLUTE. I’m done! I gave it an earnest try, but it’s just not working out. I’m tired of sounding like a cat fight every time I sit down to practice. I’m tired of telling myself how much I suck. I suck so bad I don’t want to practice (because it is degrading) and guess what? – that makes me suck worse! When I started and I was so jovial about my “breathing, blowing and tonguing” (see blog of 12/19/05), Eggroll said “give it at least 6 months – don’t give up before 6 months.” Well, Eggroll, it’s been 5 months, 1 week and 3 days - - sorry bud, I just couldn’t make it to a full 6 months. It’s not that I can’t afford another 2 lessons to get me to the end of the month, it’s that I can’t afford to be this pissed off at myself. I’m not the most self-assured person to begin with, so I really don’t need to seek opportunities to feel like a complete loser.

So I will get it all over with at once. I will quit the flute and feel like a complete loser for being a quitter. But, at least I will get it over with. I won’t have to keep punishing myself for not practicing and torturing myself by practicing. This is like a new-found freedom. I don’t have to suck any more!

You know it’s not that bad (my quitting, I mean (I didn’t mean my flute playing, that definitely is THAT bad!)). See the thing is, I know that I am not a talented artist (drawing, painting, etc) and so I would never consider taking art lessons – it would be a waste of time and I know I would always feel inadequate about it. The thing is, I just never knew that about myself musically. But maybe that makes sense – isn’t there some psycho-analytical bullshit about the left brain and the right brain? One of them is artsy and the other isn’t – well, I think that artsy section of my brain is completely brain-dead. Why fight it?!

Besides, I had taken on way too much in the last year. And I’m glad I did, I’ve enjoyed trying some new things, even the flute – really! But not everything is a good fit and you can’t do EVERYTHING there is to do. But there is no harm in trying. So, I will enjoy getting back to my book clubs which I have been remiss in keeping up with (and which I have been missing), I will continue to pursue my dark room endeavors, spring is here and I am thrilled to be wrist deep in dirt, and I will enjoy spending leisure time with my friends.

Who needs the friggin’ flute anyway?!

Where Do Exemplary Humans Come From?

I have known a small handful of people in my life (3 that I can think of) who I have come to label “exemplary humans.” They have a unique quality, but it’s not one that I can exactly put my finger on; it might not be the exact same quality in each of them. They seem to me to be advanced at being human beings – they are exemplary humans. [This, by the way, is an incredible statement coming from me, as I don’t particularly like humans – so to be an “exemplary human” is off the charts.] It’s very hard to explain the traits, but let me try – they seem to have an inner calmness, they are very excepting of others and non-judgmental, they are nurturing and understanding, they know themselves and are true to themselves, they seem to grasp the reality of a situation readily and deal with life with a perfect combination of level-headedness and compassion, they value the important stuff and not the material stuff. In a nut shell, to me, they seem like they really “fit” here. [Which is pretty awesome to me, since I generally feel like I don’t fit here at all.]

I identified my first exemplary human about 8 years ago, and I’ve been working on theories for this ever since. [And, by the way, I may have known, and may still know, more exemplary humans then I have identified, but perhaps I have not known them well enough to pick up on it.] The first theory I formed back when I identified my first exemplary human, it’s my Experienced Souls Theory. It goes like this: Maybe some of us have been here in this reality/dimension that we call “life on earth” more times then others. Maybe when we die our souls can go on to any number of other dimensions that we can’t even imagine with our little human pea-brains and this reality that we know as humans is just one of many options. If you follow this path of thinking, then it is very possible that some of us have been here to this dimension more often then others. And so my logic is that some people have more experienced souls for this environment and therefore they are better at it.

Some where along the way I came up with another possibility, my Home Turf Theory. It goes like this: Sticking with the idea that many different possible dimensions exist for our souls to hang out on, it seems reasonable to me that our souls may have a “home base” and some of our souls are from here originally. So naturally those people “fit” here better then the rest of us because they are literally more at home here.

Pretty far out, ah? Well yeah, I know, but it’s interesting to think about. I was recently sharing these theories with a friend, and I sort of wrapped it up by saying something like, “Do you know what I mean? Some people just seem to be so much better at being human then the rest of us.” To which he replied, “But don’t you think that has something to do with what kind of family environment they grew up in? Don’t you think people who are raised in a stable, loving and nurturing environment tend to have those qualities?” My first thought was that he must not have understood what I was identifying as “exemplary humans,” because there was NO WAY it could have such a logical, earthly, common-sense explanation. But as I opened my mouth to object, I had to stop myself - - - I thought about my three exemplary humans, one by one . . . Amy D. . . Comrade . . . Chaser . . . Damn it! It was true! They do all come from very loving and supportive family networks. So now I’m considering the Loving Family Theory. Of course there’s more to it then that – not everyone who grows up in a loving, stable family is destined to be an exemplary human, only the special ones. Only the ones whose home base is here and they have been here more times then the rest of us! There you have it – my all encompassing theory: The Experienced Soul, Home Turf, Loving Family Theory. I think it still needs some work.

[When contemplating this issue, one must take into consideration our culture. I suspect I would find many more exemplary humans outside of the western, civilized, modernized world. Let’s face it guys – our priorities are all screwed up. I need to re-read the Celestine Prophecy – it talks about how all our bullshit concerns - - politics, economics, power, religion, etc., is all just static, created to distract us from concentrating on becoming fully aware beings. Okay – enough – I’ll save that for another blog.]