An Awkward Pause

I tried to title this something very positive (like: “The Pause That Refreshes” or something cliché like that) but struggling to find the right words I realized that I struggle with pausing. Here I am on the eve of a two-week get-away vacation and I’m feeling sort of at odds. Part of it is that I am just ready to GO, but my partner has a commitment tomorrow morning, so we can’t leave until tomorrow afternoon (who starts vacation on Sunday afternoon?). And part of it is just feeling very in between – I have a break between semesters now – a few weeks with no commitments. That’s part of the problem; I don’t really know how to function with no commitments/deadlines. If we were not going away I would create a healthy to-do list and click them off one by one, but I can’t really rally enthusiasm to dive into something knowing I am going to be away for the next 2 weeks; so here I sit, to-do-less. It’s just not my mode of operation.

I’m sure I’ll be fine once we get on the road. Then there will be a schedule more or less – a route to take – places to go, people to see – a plan – at least the road under my wheels to give me a sense of momentum and progress. There was that whole list of to-dos to get ready to go and the list of items to pack – oil change, camping equipment, road food, all the right clothing for every occasion and climate, the right amount of shampoo, only the necessary footwear – but I got all that done too early it appears. So here I sit, to-do-less.

I tried to get serious about taking some reading material – professional/design periodicals or books? Political/social commentary? start a new fiction (ha – if we had any in our house) – oh screw it – it’s not like I am going to sit idly and read on this vacation anyway – but my partner will, and he will bring something interesting to read, I’m sure.

So, on the eve of this fabulous get-away, here I sit, to-do-less. Good thing the Fall semester starts as soon as I get back. Watch for my next entry to be a rant on having too many things to do!