The Shoink Theory (a work in progress)
Shoink Factor: the mystical force that pulls two people together when a significant number of elements of circumstance are properly aligned.
Picture us as entities floating around in space (the Shoink-pool), doing our own thing, living our lives. Let’s say there are 20 elements of circumstance within us (this is an abstract theory, don’t get caught up in the details – 20 is arbitrary, and no, I can’t name them. Where was I? Oh, yeah - - -) so there are 20 elements of circumstance that exist within us and here we are floating around the Snoink-pool. The Shoink Theory says that the number of circumstantial elements between us that are aligned, determines if we are drawn to another person and how strongly we are drawn. But not in a voluntary way, remember, this theory is based on a mystical force – it’s not within our control – we can’t make our elements align. Although some of us have tried this manipulation many times to force the Shoink Factor into effect – but to no avail – this may produce a temporary, false-Shoink, but it is not a true Shoink. The Shoink force is like a magnetic attraction, only it’s not scientific, it’s mystical.
The strength of the Shoink force between two people is determined by how many of our circumstantial elements are aligned. For example, if only 8 out of a possible 20 are aligned, we would probably have to be in fairly close proximity to connect – we would likely find each other in life as long as our paths came somewhere near each other. But then there are the high-level Shoinks (these are the really fun ones) where you have maybe 18, 19 – maybe even all 20, elements lining up, and SHOINK! – there is no stopping it! You could be floating on opposite ends of the Shoink-pool and there is nothing that would stop you from connecting – this is the Shoink Major! This is meant to be! Don’t fight it!
Support for the Shoink Theory:
During some points in our lives we align very nicely with another person, all is good and harmonious, and then later in life we find that we “drift apart.” Aptly stated! Our circumstantial elements re-align and the Shoink force between us is lessened and we do, literally, drift away from each other in the Shoink-pool because we no longer have as strong of a Shoink force drawing us together.
Likewise, sometimes we Shoink with a person and we realize that if our paths had crossed 5, 10, 20 years ago, we would not have Shoinked with them at all – our elements would not have been properly aligned.
More Shoink Research Required
This is a good start to the Shoink Theory, but more research is required. I have some unanswered questions:
1. In order to achieve Shoink Major, are there particular elements that are required. That is to say, even if you have 18 out of 20, but one of the missing ones is “X” then you can’t have a Shoink Major?
2. Are the elements weighted or are they all of equal importance?
3. Do some elements have to be alike to “align” and others need to be opposite to “align?”
4. Is Shoinking self-supporting? Once in a Shoink-groove with someone, does the strength of the Shoink increase naturally?
Picture us as entities floating around in space (the Shoink-pool), doing our own thing, living our lives. Let’s say there are 20 elements of circumstance within us (this is an abstract theory, don’t get caught up in the details – 20 is arbitrary, and no, I can’t name them. Where was I? Oh, yeah - - -) so there are 20 elements of circumstance that exist within us and here we are floating around the Snoink-pool. The Shoink Theory says that the number of circumstantial elements between us that are aligned, determines if we are drawn to another person and how strongly we are drawn. But not in a voluntary way, remember, this theory is based on a mystical force – it’s not within our control – we can’t make our elements align. Although some of us have tried this manipulation many times to force the Shoink Factor into effect – but to no avail – this may produce a temporary, false-Shoink, but it is not a true Shoink. The Shoink force is like a magnetic attraction, only it’s not scientific, it’s mystical.
The strength of the Shoink force between two people is determined by how many of our circumstantial elements are aligned. For example, if only 8 out of a possible 20 are aligned, we would probably have to be in fairly close proximity to connect – we would likely find each other in life as long as our paths came somewhere near each other. But then there are the high-level Shoinks (these are the really fun ones) where you have maybe 18, 19 – maybe even all 20, elements lining up, and SHOINK! – there is no stopping it! You could be floating on opposite ends of the Shoink-pool and there is nothing that would stop you from connecting – this is the Shoink Major! This is meant to be! Don’t fight it!
Support for the Shoink Theory:
During some points in our lives we align very nicely with another person, all is good and harmonious, and then later in life we find that we “drift apart.” Aptly stated! Our circumstantial elements re-align and the Shoink force between us is lessened and we do, literally, drift away from each other in the Shoink-pool because we no longer have as strong of a Shoink force drawing us together.
Likewise, sometimes we Shoink with a person and we realize that if our paths had crossed 5, 10, 20 years ago, we would not have Shoinked with them at all – our elements would not have been properly aligned.
More Shoink Research Required
This is a good start to the Shoink Theory, but more research is required. I have some unanswered questions:
1. In order to achieve Shoink Major, are there particular elements that are required. That is to say, even if you have 18 out of 20, but one of the missing ones is “X” then you can’t have a Shoink Major?
2. Are the elements weighted or are they all of equal importance?
3. Do some elements have to be alike to “align” and others need to be opposite to “align?”
4. Is Shoinking self-supporting? Once in a Shoink-groove with someone, does the strength of the Shoink increase naturally?
5. What are the circumstancial elements? and how many are there?
6. Maybe it’s not as simple as a certain number of elements – maybe each element has a particular shape and size -- and it's more like a lock and key alignment?
Clearly more research is needed.
Happy Shoinking!
posted by 10-8-ious | 4:28 PM
9 Comments:
Oh dear.
And you say elsewhere that I am confusing YOU.
What the **** are you talking about?
Article writing lesson:
LEAD. BODY. POINT.
Peri Oink-Shoink
10-8, I saw a special on PBS last night about scientific dating...a group of scientists in Britain set up speed dating in a bar to test their various theories about what initially attracts people to each other. Highly entertaining...under the tables on each side there was a digital dial, and the couples dialed in their initial rating of each other and then their end rating after 3 minutes of conversation. They usually went with their initial (physical) rating, regardless of how well the conversation went. Oh, and the best thing a man can to do be attractive, according to one study, is be tall :-)
Ivan - I'm off the hook -- I'm not a writer and don't pretend to be so I don't have to follow those silly rules!
Ginger -- where can we get a grant to do research like that?
With respect to both of you, Ginger did it intuitively and showed that only the well-researched is truly interesting.
Thanks.
Ivan
Ivan- not to be argumentative, but think about what you are saying -- “only the well-researched is interesting”???? So all those new and inventive ideas that pop into people’s heads that have not yet been explored (or researched) are not interesting? I have to disagree. Not that the well-researched can’t be interesting too, but the not-yet-researched is where the most interesting concepts are.
OK. You win.
Now, your place or mine?
Heh.
Holy cow, "Who's going over the border tonight?" used to mean,"Who's running to Taco Bell?", now we've got an international argument,or booty call, on a blog...
I love your both, and am laughing out loud over this particular tiff.
Ginger
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Post a Comment
<< Home