There's an Alien Inside Me
It’s the only logical explanation I can come up with (if you consider alien body-snatching logical). I am just not the same person I was a short time ago. I’m not exactly sure when this alien took over my body – some time in the past few months. I’m exhibiting very odd behavior for me.
I am constantly exploring new interests and challenges, and I no longer approach them with the “Oh, that would be fun but I can’t do it” line. Instead, it’s “That’s cool, I’m doin’ it!” I no longer sit around bored with nothing to fill my hours; suddenly there is not enough time in a week, a day, an hour to do all the new things I want to do.
I am consciously (and even sub-consciously) being a, kinder, gentler, more sympathetic, less judgmental person. I say that I am “trying to be a better person” but there’s not a lot of “trying” to it. I am choosing to see the good in people and have patience and compassion for the bad.
I am no longer approaching relationships (friends, lovers, co-workers, etc) with that insecurity-of-self that always made me feel like I needed to please them -- “If I act like they want me to, they’ll like me.” (Which, by the way, never works in the long run anyway – hence my long chain of failed intimate relationships). Of course, I still hope to be liked in my relationships, but not at the cost of compromising who I am. I now actually let myself have moods in public – it’s sort of liberating.
So you explain it? Where did this self-confident, grab-the-world-by-the-tail attitude come from? It couldn’t have come from me! I’ve never possessed an ounce of it. So, back to my original hypothesis – there’s an alien living in me. But for the first time in my life I can look myself in the eye (with the help of a mirror of course) and say “I like me!” So, I’m hopin’ she’s comfy in here and she’s planning on staying – I don’t really know how these alien invasions work.
I am constantly exploring new interests and challenges, and I no longer approach them with the “Oh, that would be fun but I can’t do it” line. Instead, it’s “That’s cool, I’m doin’ it!” I no longer sit around bored with nothing to fill my hours; suddenly there is not enough time in a week, a day, an hour to do all the new things I want to do.
I am consciously (and even sub-consciously) being a, kinder, gentler, more sympathetic, less judgmental person. I say that I am “trying to be a better person” but there’s not a lot of “trying” to it. I am choosing to see the good in people and have patience and compassion for the bad.
I am no longer approaching relationships (friends, lovers, co-workers, etc) with that insecurity-of-self that always made me feel like I needed to please them -- “If I act like they want me to, they’ll like me.” (Which, by the way, never works in the long run anyway – hence my long chain of failed intimate relationships). Of course, I still hope to be liked in my relationships, but not at the cost of compromising who I am. I now actually let myself have moods in public – it’s sort of liberating.
So you explain it? Where did this self-confident, grab-the-world-by-the-tail attitude come from? It couldn’t have come from me! I’ve never possessed an ounce of it. So, back to my original hypothesis – there’s an alien living in me. But for the first time in my life I can look myself in the eye (with the help of a mirror of course) and say “I like me!” So, I’m hopin’ she’s comfy in here and she’s planning on staying – I don’t really know how these alien invasions work.
posted by 10-8-ious | 8:25 PM
3 Comments:
I'm smiling eare to ear reading this. You sell yourself short sometimes. That person has always been there. And many of us have seen her many times before.
I think the difference is maturity. Not that you have ever acted childish that I have seen, but changes take place in all of us as we age. And this maturation process is a fickle thing that will stay at the same level for a while and suddenly jump forward.
I think that is what has happened to you over the last year. You may think it is only a couple of months, but I think it has been building for at least a year.
You have taken stock in yourself as a person, and you started to see yourself as we all see you. And you liked what you saw. This allowed you to be more centered and self-confident. And this allowed you to be less anxious and to enjoy yourself without judging yourself.
And when we can look at ourselves honestly and be satisfied with who we are, we are much happier. You aren't possessed by an alien, your just seeing the true 10-8-ious coming through. And she is a very wonderful person.
Aawww...You are finding your "Authentic Self" and loving her. Good for you, keep exploring!
This makes me smile. Congratulations!!! We have all serios powers in us, the channels are just began opening to us. I have found myself too, MY SEARCH IS OVER. NOW IM JUST READY TO LIVE.
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