An Autopsy of Idealism
My little world will not be the same after today. There are probably many days that are land marks in our lives that we don’t realize as they happen. This one I am taking note of. It’s not the end of the world, and given what's going on in the world lately, it’s not really all that significant. But it feels like it to me tonight - - -
First off, let me put this in perspective: many people in this state (and in my company) have lost their jobs due to a poor economy and some real fucked-up corporate decisions, and (so far) I have not lost mine. I’m not whining, there are way-worse-off folks than me. This isn’t an “oh poor me” it’s more of an autopsy of an idealism I was holding on to.
I went to work for a medium-sized, privately owned, regional company 7 years ago. I liked the company very much – we were not in business to save the world or provide any great service to social justice or anything like that, but as companies go, we “did no harm” – we were a good little company – dedicated to customer service and our team members were practically like (distant) family. But, as we got more and more successful and started growing to new markets and servicing those markets to our best ability - - sure enough - - you guessed it - - we were bought by a huge (inter)national corporation. At first, Big Momma Corporation said “oh, you guys there at Little-Ole Company are doing such a great job we are not going to change you one bit.” - - - (did I mention the long snout and the sharp teeth protruding from Granny’s bonnet?) That was three or so years ago when the economy was still somewhat stable.
So my Little-Ole Company went merrily along - - - continuing to do what we did best - - - providing great service to our customers. Well, as it turned out, soon after our “acquisition” I was offered this fabulous position as a “Business Analyst” – holey shit – “Business Analyst” – we never had THOSE before! It was a great opportunity for me and best of all, my new manager was the greatest of all managers! WOW – I was on top of the world! My job was to find out what our team members needed to get their work done and recommend processes and new technologies to solve their problems AND now being part of Big Momma’s “family” we had all this really cool technology to offer. What a really great job! I felt like Superman! [Okay so we are all noticing (including me) that I would not have had this opportunity if not for Big Momma Corp having purchased us – I DO recognize that, and up until this morning, I gave credit and appreciation for it regularly.]
But after a couple of years of great success, the winds started to change – rather suddenly --the economy took a terrible turn and with it our business dropped off. Our business is strongly tied to economic trends, so when the economy crashed, so did we – no fault of our own. Just as suddenly the “high” of my job receded; I was no longer “bringing new tools to the team members to provide great service”, now I was “implementing cost-reduction procedures to our users.”
You can see those snarly sharp teeth under Granny’s bonnet now, can’t you? Of course you can – and so could I – I had started to tell my partner how I no longer worked for a customer-oriented company who wanted to provide great service – all these bastards cared about was the bottom line. Did you hear that? – well, what’s really funny is that I said it, but I didn’t hear it – or some how I couldn’t apply it – I knew it to be true, but it wasn’t really effecting me directly so I could pretend that it wasn’t true (picture ostrich with head in sand). Oh and there were other signs – weird management decisions being made and changed and cloaked in darkness.
But today the veil was lifted, those sharp, sanrly teeth came out, and the charade is over. My department, which had been charged with finding the best solutions for providing the best service to our customers, is being dismantled. Well not quite yet – we are in the middle of a tornado that the Business Analysts are needed for to control, so until the tornado is over (maybe 4 months) we are to remain on course. But after that, our department will be dissolved and its members disbursed (theoretically) to other positions and departments depending on our individual talents/abilities.
The reason for this can be summed up in one sentence – Big Momma does not answer to customers, it answers to stockholders. (of course without customers there will be NO bottom line, but this is a classic case of not being able to see the trees for the greenbacks!) This cuts me to the bone – this “bottom line” mentality and focus goes against everything that I value and am working toward in my personal life. What do I do with that? During my earlier “denial stage” I kept telling myself that it was okay because I make decent money and I can take the money from my job and use it in the world to do good, and so it balanced out. But today, it’s not feeling so balanced. How can I go to work for 40 hours a week for a company that represents so much of what I detest about our current culture?! So, the questions I am asking myself tonight - - How big a whore am I? Living in the state with the worst unemployment and the worst economy of the country, do I have no choice but to suck it up and say “thank you Mother may I have another?” Is this going to wash over me and barely be a bleep on my life-scope? Is this one of those pivot points that will lead me to something better? Is it a test of my character?
The final autopsy results are not in.
First off, let me put this in perspective: many people in this state (and in my company) have lost their jobs due to a poor economy and some real fucked-up corporate decisions, and (so far) I have not lost mine. I’m not whining, there are way-worse-off folks than me. This isn’t an “oh poor me” it’s more of an autopsy of an idealism I was holding on to.
I went to work for a medium-sized, privately owned, regional company 7 years ago. I liked the company very much – we were not in business to save the world or provide any great service to social justice or anything like that, but as companies go, we “did no harm” – we were a good little company – dedicated to customer service and our team members were practically like (distant) family. But, as we got more and more successful and started growing to new markets and servicing those markets to our best ability - - sure enough - - you guessed it - - we were bought by a huge (inter)national corporation. At first, Big Momma Corporation said “oh, you guys there at Little-Ole Company are doing such a great job we are not going to change you one bit.” - - - (did I mention the long snout and the sharp teeth protruding from Granny’s bonnet?) That was three or so years ago when the economy was still somewhat stable.
So my Little-Ole Company went merrily along - - - continuing to do what we did best - - - providing great service to our customers. Well, as it turned out, soon after our “acquisition” I was offered this fabulous position as a “Business Analyst” – holey shit – “Business Analyst” – we never had THOSE before! It was a great opportunity for me and best of all, my new manager was the greatest of all managers! WOW – I was on top of the world! My job was to find out what our team members needed to get their work done and recommend processes and new technologies to solve their problems AND now being part of Big Momma’s “family” we had all this really cool technology to offer. What a really great job! I felt like Superman! [Okay so we are all noticing (including me) that I would not have had this opportunity if not for Big Momma Corp having purchased us – I DO recognize that, and up until this morning, I gave credit and appreciation for it regularly.]
But after a couple of years of great success, the winds started to change – rather suddenly --the economy took a terrible turn and with it our business dropped off. Our business is strongly tied to economic trends, so when the economy crashed, so did we – no fault of our own. Just as suddenly the “high” of my job receded; I was no longer “bringing new tools to the team members to provide great service”, now I was “implementing cost-reduction procedures to our users.”
You can see those snarly sharp teeth under Granny’s bonnet now, can’t you? Of course you can – and so could I – I had started to tell my partner how I no longer worked for a customer-oriented company who wanted to provide great service – all these bastards cared about was the bottom line. Did you hear that? – well, what’s really funny is that I said it, but I didn’t hear it – or some how I couldn’t apply it – I knew it to be true, but it wasn’t really effecting me directly so I could pretend that it wasn’t true (picture ostrich with head in sand). Oh and there were other signs – weird management decisions being made and changed and cloaked in darkness.
But today the veil was lifted, those sharp, sanrly teeth came out, and the charade is over. My department, which had been charged with finding the best solutions for providing the best service to our customers, is being dismantled. Well not quite yet – we are in the middle of a tornado that the Business Analysts are needed for to control, so until the tornado is over (maybe 4 months) we are to remain on course. But after that, our department will be dissolved and its members disbursed (theoretically) to other positions and departments depending on our individual talents/abilities.
The reason for this can be summed up in one sentence – Big Momma does not answer to customers, it answers to stockholders. (of course without customers there will be NO bottom line, but this is a classic case of not being able to see the trees for the greenbacks!) This cuts me to the bone – this “bottom line” mentality and focus goes against everything that I value and am working toward in my personal life. What do I do with that? During my earlier “denial stage” I kept telling myself that it was okay because I make decent money and I can take the money from my job and use it in the world to do good, and so it balanced out. But today, it’s not feeling so balanced. How can I go to work for 40 hours a week for a company that represents so much of what I detest about our current culture?! So, the questions I am asking myself tonight - - How big a whore am I? Living in the state with the worst unemployment and the worst economy of the country, do I have no choice but to suck it up and say “thank you Mother may I have another?” Is this going to wash over me and barely be a bleep on my life-scope? Is this one of those pivot points that will lead me to something better? Is it a test of my character?
The final autopsy results are not in.
posted by 10-8-ious | 1:46 AM
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