Metamorphosis
I feel like I’m at a turning point, where I can become a different me. There’s this other person that lives inside of me. I recognize her; I’ve known her for a long time. She is the me I’ve always wanted to be, but I could never shed this skin I hide her in. I think it’s time.
I wonder how a caterpillar feels just before she turns into a butterfly?
I’ve been to this turning point before, but never this close. I’ve been too scared to let it happen. I could see it, and I wanted it, but always retreated to the safety of my cocoon; afraid to live my life after so many years of watching it like a movie on a screen. But the cocoon has become uncomfortable – my wings don’t fit any more.
I wonder how it feels to fly?
I wonder how a caterpillar feels just before she turns into a butterfly?
I’ve been to this turning point before, but never this close. I’ve been too scared to let it happen. I could see it, and I wanted it, but always retreated to the safety of my cocoon; afraid to live my life after so many years of watching it like a movie on a screen. But the cocoon has become uncomfortable – my wings don’t fit any more.
I wonder how it feels to fly?
posted by 10-8-ious | 12:51 AM
4 Comments:
WOW I just love reading what you have to say - that must be why we are such good friends. Yes, you definately are at a turning point and you need to embrace and go forward - IT IS ORGASMIC TO FLY!!!!!!!!!! FLY ON MY FRIEND YOUR METAMORPHIS IS COMPLETE!
I need more than this...something that needs to be discussed over afternoon drinks? I can relate but mine has more to do w/ menopause and turning 50...but it really is exhilerating to be on the edge of change...
Orgasmic?
Ok, you got my attention...
There comes a time in ones life when you step back and ask, is this all there is? Is this me, my legacy? Have I found my grove, am I ready to go from here on the course that I am currently leading?
The question comes in many forms. Sometimes it is clouded with other diestractions, a relationship good or bad, a change in health, or career complications. And sometimes it is clear as the morning sun on a cold January day.
Is this me, is this what I want to be? It can be a complex question, with answers as fleeting as gold finches on the morning feed. One minute they seem so obvious and the next they are gone.
But it is good to reflect, re-evaluate. To ask one's self, "why"? Why am I am who I am? And If I can make an adjustment to get better control of my life, what might that be?
I think of myself over the last 47 years and find it extremely interesting how I have been so self centered at times. It was always about me and how I felt. I fined myself more and more wondering why I feel the way I do and what can I do about. Why am I happy, angry, tired, energized or simple content.
And I look to change that. To be more in control. To find that level plain where I am not going over the edge, but content, happy and energized. Not occasionally but consistently. To be in control, not of others, but myself.
Metamorphosis.....Fly? If you would like. Walk if it suits you. Be secure in who you are. And welcome what tomorrow brings.
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