I Love Being Single!
And I hate “dating” – so when I say single, I mean seriously single. (Okay, right, so the first thing that popped into your little pea-brain was “oh, but there’s no sex.” -- you know I really wanted to talk about all the positives of being single, but if you are going to force me down this path, I will debate the negatives first – fine – I’m flexible!) Well, actually there is occasionally sex, some of it is even really good, although most of it is pretty mediocre and barely memorable the next morning (when I’m sober) leaving me to wonder why I bothered. But I seem to have this (maybe weird?) ability to switch off my sex drive (this has also happened involuntarily when I have been in relationships – not so good then). It’s like my brain sends out some anti-sex enzyme that slows my libido to a crawl until I have a use for it again. So this really helps. Another draw back is that it can be easy to feel lonely or unloved when you are low, but if you have a few close fiends, this is not a lingering effect. And lastly, sometimes it's a drag not having a “date” to go places, especially when a lot of your friends are couples and you are sort of hanging around on the fringe – but if they are good friends they won’t let you feel this way for long. AND I might add that sometimes it’s more fun to go to certain functions/events as a single. (So – that’s it – that’s all the energy the down side gets.)
(Where was I? Oh yeah --) I love being single! Mostly I think I really like ME better when I’m single. I’ve got a good head on my shoulders, I’m self-reliant, somewhat confident about my world (if not myself), I have a kick-ass job, and I like to have fun! – what’s not to like? But I have this terrible habit of loosing site of myself when I get hooked up in a relationship – I do it every time! It’s really pathetic (and it’s also a discussion for a therapist not my blog). So the fact that I like ME better when I’m single has a lot to do with why I like being single.
But the other factors are time and space and maybe this is part of not being good at managing myself in a relationship too. (That’s probably what this all comes down to – poor self-management in intimate relationships – I’m sure there’s a 12 step program for that somewhere!) I like having my own space, and I like having lots of time to myself. I don’t know that I could share my living space with someone again. I’m not saying I won’t ever have another (maybe several) committed, meaningful relationships, but can I keep my house? By myself! And then there is the time-suckage thing -- do I have time for a full time person in my life? Honestly, I don’t know how couples do it and keep their sanity. There are 24 hours in a day – lets say we sleep for 8 (I wish), and we work for 8 (during the week) that leaves only 8 hours left in my day – and there is life maintenance to be done – groceries, banking, laundry. . . And don’t forget about the things I want to do for myself – read books, practice my flute, garden, sip a glass of wine in peace and quiet . . .
PING! Sorry, time’s up! I don’t have the time, the space, or the need for someone in my life right now!
(Check with me again in a week or so (ha!))
(Where was I? Oh yeah --) I love being single! Mostly I think I really like ME better when I’m single. I’ve got a good head on my shoulders, I’m self-reliant, somewhat confident about my world (if not myself), I have a kick-ass job, and I like to have fun! – what’s not to like? But I have this terrible habit of loosing site of myself when I get hooked up in a relationship – I do it every time! It’s really pathetic (and it’s also a discussion for a therapist not my blog). So the fact that I like ME better when I’m single has a lot to do with why I like being single.
But the other factors are time and space and maybe this is part of not being good at managing myself in a relationship too. (That’s probably what this all comes down to – poor self-management in intimate relationships – I’m sure there’s a 12 step program for that somewhere!) I like having my own space, and I like having lots of time to myself. I don’t know that I could share my living space with someone again. I’m not saying I won’t ever have another (maybe several) committed, meaningful relationships, but can I keep my house? By myself! And then there is the time-suckage thing -- do I have time for a full time person in my life? Honestly, I don’t know how couples do it and keep their sanity. There are 24 hours in a day – lets say we sleep for 8 (I wish), and we work for 8 (during the week) that leaves only 8 hours left in my day – and there is life maintenance to be done – groceries, banking, laundry. . . And don’t forget about the things I want to do for myself – read books, practice my flute, garden, sip a glass of wine in peace and quiet . . .
PING! Sorry, time’s up! I don’t have the time, the space, or the need for someone in my life right now!
(Check with me again in a week or so (ha!))
posted by 10-8-ious | 7:10 PM
2 Comments:
Hung over bloggers?
A little too much holiday cheer at Mug Club Night?
Anyway, I am ambivalent towards being single. Yes, there are huge upsides; freedom, lack of bullshit to put up with, no dreaded colorful relatives of your sig-oth(significant other), no nagging, no bitching, etc., etc.
The downside as 10-8-ious has already eloquently described. Though I haven't yet experienced the non or memorable sex she mentioned. What I miss is the intimate sharing of lifes successes and failures. A personal initimate one person cheering section or pitty party. I know it sounds sappy but its lonely out there....unless you self medicate, subscibe to Playboy, and keep an industrial sized bottle of hand lotion bedside...........
WRONG -- wrote it perfectly sober BEFORE I went to the Hat, as a matter of fact!
yeah, there is a level of emotional intimacy that is nice and that you can't get from friends. I don't want to never be in a committed relationship again. I'm just really enjoying being single now. Which is refreshing because so many people (my previous self included) spend a lot of time feeling depressed or inadequate over their singlhood. So it just feels really good to be enjoying it! (This too shall pass)
Post a Comment
<< Home