Coming of Age in My Mid 40s

My partner and I are hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year. I am already brimming with excitement. My mom will come in the day before to help with the cooking – this is not cheating – this is tradition – I grew up in an extended-family household where three generations of women prepared for days before the feast – since I have no children and Grama is long gone, we’ll have to settle for two generations. My mom is a fabulous cook, she loves to do it and she has passed down to me her sense of entertaining style and grace – garnish the platters with parsley (knowing no one will eat it), always use cloth linens, each piece of silverware has a very specific place, use candles on the table, have a festive centerpiece, and make sure there's plenty of libations to go around.

This should be a total hoot! First of all, our house is under major renovation. There are only a couple of finished rooms in the house, but hey, as long as the bathroom is one of them we are good-to-go, right? The kitchen is fully functional, and actually has all new appliances, but it is very rough like the rest of the downstairs – the drywall is up, but not mudded much less painted, no trim, the floors are exposed sub-flooring, and we have stacks of lumber and other building materials about the place. We’ll clear out the large living room and set up a big long table made of saw horses and plywood, cover it with a white linen cloth (with a silencer underneath, of course) and call it good. The atmosphere will be sort of a “Tim the Tool Man meets Martha Stewart.” But I’m sure no one will mind – it’s not about what the house looks like or how the table is set – it’s about good company, good food, and lively conversation.

Which leads me to the next interesting element – the guest list is an eclectic combination of some of my family, some of Emmot’s family, and some of his hippy friends from the old days. We are definitely running the gamut of the political scale, with a few strong anchors on each end. Should make for some lively conversation!

Mostly I am looking forward to doing some traditional entertaining in our home – although it feels awkwardly “grown up” to me. I may be 45, but I will always be the baby in the family, and having no children, I’m not viewed as a “household.” I’ve never really taken myself very seriously as a domestic figure. When you grow up the “baby” in a house full of women, eventually you learn to just smile and say “sure, thanks.” But I have finally settled into an adult relationship with a great partner and we have a wonderful home – it’s time to step up to the stove and take my place as an adult.

I can already smell the delicious aromas of the feast drifting through the house, hear the warm laughter floating above the soft music, and feel the glow of good times warming my soul. It is already a Thanksgiving to remember!