Domestic Partnering

Hear me out - In a nut shell, I say, forget “gay marriage” and every other form of marriage for that matter, because it carries with it too much baggage – too many legal defaults. Let there be two COMPLETELY separate entities: one being the formal ceremony and sanctity of people wishing to unite; and the other being whatever legal arrangements an individual may choose to set up between whomever they choose regarding their wealth, benefits, childcare or any other arrangement they feel must be made. Let me take these separately as the two are COMPLETELY separate entities.

The Heartfelt/Emotional Side:
Let people who care to, enter into a loving commitment. Let them formalize that commitment with a ceremony of their choice being a celebration of their love for one another, and let that commitment mean to them what is nearest and dearest to their hearts.

Obviously excluded from this is any involvement, rules or boundaries set by any government agency. Let’s face it, in reality, this is NOT the part of a “marriage” that the government really cares about (or has any control over) anyway!

The Legal Side
Of course, this is the complicated part! (all the more reason to keep it separate!) These arrangements should be set up for every individual regardless of, and completely separate from, their loving commitments (above) to another individual. There should be no assumptions or defaults that create an automatic bind to these arrangements – for many people these days, it’s not always their “spouse” that would be designated for the following:
1) who can make “life and death” decisions in case of their incapacitation
2) who has legal rights to their wealth/property/possessions (or lack there of) upon their death
3) who has guardianship over children
4) who health benefits are extended to

Today’s reality clearly outlines that our culture’s tradition of “wedding,” (which is sold as a ceremony on the heart) has many more legal ramifications then it does emotional. Let’s face it, in the end, we love who we love regardless of legal “obligations”. The legal “defaults” that come with marriage have become, to say the least, somewhat outdated. This is evidenced by the now-popular prenuptial agreements, where obviously the people committing their hearts do not want to commit their dollars! But no one raised much of an eyebrow over that – among the wealthy, that was completely understood and acceptable.

But now we have these “other entities” – same-sex marriages who want the same legal defaults, and heterosexual couples who may want to commit emotionally, but set up independent legal/financial arrangemetnts. What are we to do with “THEM?” How can we take our age-old, picture-perfect rules and apply to everyone? YOU CAN’T! Get over it! Our culture is not what it used to be! We are evolving, like everything else – we are coming out of the dark ages –let it happen – it’s a good thing!

Bottom line, here’s what needs to happen:
1) Allow people to engage in a ceremony to formalize their loving commitment to each other with no boundaries set by government.
2) Provide simple and affordable legal documents to be filed by any individual to establish their heirs, beneficiaries, medical power of attorney, guardianship, etc.
3) Until such time as a more universal health care is available, allow all contributing primaries to extend health care coverage to whomever as long as they are willing to pay the additional premium (what does the insurance company care what their “relationship” is?)

Why does this seem so simple to me and yet so debatable by others?